“Dear Mr. VSQL, I am 8 years old. My friends tell me that there are no SQL-themed holiday songs. My Dad says ‘If it’s on the Internet, it has to be true.’ Do you know of any SQL-themed holiday songs on the Internet I can show them?”

– Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your friends have been misinformed. Please see below this song titled O Release Night, which is a SQL-themed version of the popular O Holy Night. Please feel free to show this to your friends. And, if they choose to start subscribing to my RSS feed, that would be fine, too. I hope you enjoy it and may you and yours stay safe and well this holiday season.

O release night, the maintenance window’s open.
It is the time to run my deployment scripts.
There’s DDL, and DML and stored procs
And functions and triggers, well, I hope not.
I load the file and connect to the DB.
With joyful hope, I hit the F5 key.

Fall on my knees to see the Messages pane!
An error in red, O M G, W T F!
Last night, I tested, twelve frickin times!

I go to the line referenced in the exception
And see where the Engine thinks I went wrong.
Led by the guidance of the crimson text
I find a difference between Test and Prod.
While deep in thought, I glance down at the systray
And see the date’s not what I thought it was.

I now need to stop and rollback all my changes.
Success! Success! I’ve undone all that I did.
I’m off to bed. This is not my release night!